Mon, 06 Feb 2012 03:21:39 GMT <![CDATA[nuttervillestories.com]]> Mon, 06 Feb 2012 03:21:39 GMT I have finished writing my BIG speech for March 14th 2012. I feel like a ton of weight is off my shoulders. Mellow! Now all I have to do is take the words and put them into my heart so they will flow naturally at the right time.  Since I have so many music performer-friends, this is not unlike a rehearsal for a big show. It is one thing to hear the music; it is another whole thing to make it yours, own it, sing it like you mean it and live it.  
I rewrote the speech and rethought it until I turned a bit blue. My topic, “Coping with odd and quirky behavior” is definitely my strength and I am good at it. However, putting what I do into words for others to learn from was quite the chore. It is a whole different ballgame to have something worth saying than just to talk. I have not done this speech in public. I plan to do it Feb 10th and again March 1st, and then March 14th is the big one.   
The speeches learning objectives are what I plan to use for years ahead. I want to perfect this speech until I can pass along some of the things I know. 
Participants of my speech will not only learn how to recognize quirky and odd behaviors, but also have a chance to talk about some of the people they have trouble with. They will have opportunity to think about that person, and develop strategies to adapt to odd behaviors. Listeners will learn that humor works with quirks. It just needs to be used at the right time and place; this can be a fine line.
Stay tuned into my blogs for more information on how to cope with odd and quirky behavior of others. I am really into this topic for now! 
 
 
]]> <![CDATA[‘The Speech’]]> Thu, 02 Feb 2012 03:14:39 GMT Dear Blog readers, I am so excited. Today something extraordinary happened to me. I must tell you. I was sitting with a friend in Culvers Restaurant. A stranger came to me. She had a piece of paper in her hand. She said, “I know you, my friend and I read your books and we are such fans. She is in the hospital now, and I know it would mean much to her if I could get your autograph and give it to her in the hospital.” 
Sometimes I get to feel so overwhelmed by it all, life. Then this one thing happens, and I think to myself, I do make a difference out there, and I already have and will continue to do so. It is my goal to make a positive, happy difference. To widen comfort zones, expand tolerance levels, and bring about self-awareness of how we can treat each other better as humans. 
On a day like this, I really needed that little boost and it makes all the difference. I am grateful and look forward. 
]]> <![CDATA[A Happy Happenstance!]]> Thu, 26 Jan 2012 04:42:02 GMT I have been talking on blogs quite a bit lately.  I am going to keep this one short.  I figured out what my hang up is!  I am outside my comfort zone.  When I am outside my comfort zone, I get anxious and apprehensive. 

 

Now, all I need to do is grow into the zone where my anxiety is, and I will be able to manage this all.  I have an anxious nature.  If you read Nutterville, and Prisoner, you will understand why.  It is no big secret that my whole life revolves around pushing open the door  in my head, heart and being.  Enlarging my own comfort zone! 

 

I started working on this comfort zone issue very deliberatly when I was a late teen. I found I had a gay person in my life, and a mentally ill person in my life and they were both siblings.  For what ever reason, both of them felt fine to confide in me and have it as a secret from the rest of the family.  I had to learn very early how to cope and push that comfort zone out and learn great toleration. 

 

I think those two people set me apart from the herd early, and one swore me to secrecy.  I am not a secret person. 

 

Now I fight with a whole different comfort zone.  Public speaking and all the business end of that.  I am way out of my depth!  but, i am determined to grow into this and do my darndest. 

 

so, here is to stretching that comfort zone.  painful as it is, none of us can survive with out doing it on some level each day.  and adjusting

 

becoming self aware is the first step.  the other is to persist!  Forward!!! 

 

 

 

 

]]> <![CDATA[blogging a lot lately.]]> Mon, 23 Jan 2012 05:48:06 GMT Promoting me takes words and concepts that are crystallized. I need to have tight ideas that I can ‘sell’ in a matter of seconds. As of now, I am so out of my depth that I can’t even come up with a name for my web site, what I want to be called, or my brand!  I can’t bring myself to really focus on it. The idea slips away before I can capture it. I MUST capture it, and it must be good. that is not an option. I have spent the money. I need to do this for myself. 
Writing a speech or giving a speech is nothing compared to the amount of work it takes to promote me. This has caused tears of agony, much trepidation and soul searching on my part, and I am no closer to it than what I was months ago. 
I even have difficulty with the concept of platform. I thought I had that. I sent it to my web woman in Alabama, and she says it needs more work. I had this for one of my platforms. ONE of my speech topics is, “Coping with odd or quirky behaviors” the 6 things I ‘sell’ in this speech are: 1. Identify peculiar behaviors 2. Stretch comfort zone 3. Practice words 4. Doctors diagnose: We cope 5. Humor works with quirks 6. Unmet needs create quirks
Does that sound like a speech your organization, agency would like to hear? Does that sound ‘worth’ money to hear? 
My audience that read my blogs is kind to me. I know them, they know me. We are family. But ultimately what I want is to sell myself to businesses and make that difference in the world. I believe my speeches have value. The business end of this kills me.
Does anyone have suggestions, advice or able to help me with crystallizing my thought process?   
]]> <![CDATA[Crystallization]]> Sun, 22 Jan 2012 08:06:25 GMT Yikes! I am all antsy and frilly inside me tonight and cannot sleep. You know when I can’t sleep I get up and type to you. I live out loud and probably will continue to do that until the time is right to not do that anymore. It‘s about -7 degrees outside, the house is quite cold and I am sitting here in my night gown, shivering. I was at National Speakers Meeting today and I made the goal inside myself to really work toward giving 20 speeches before Jan 1, 2013. That is quite a leap for me. I should add… paid speeches. 
I am working on a speech where I become my sister Gail when she was a bag lady living on the streets of big cities. I really want to make my audience minorly uncomfortable about homelessness. I want to talk about the topic of odd and quirky people among us in such a way that they can feel it and experience it, because most people pretend that the homeless and really odd people are not in our midst. It is my personal goal to try to stretch people’s toleration, awareness, and stretch their comfort zone. This is NOT an easy task I have decided to talk on. 
It is not our job to diagnose them, or to try to figure out why they are the way they are. I believe it is our job to find a way to give growth to our awareness and realize that we can find common ground with a street person. We can talk to them, and know they are pretty much exactly like ‘us’ … even if they look unkempt and act strange.
I have also taken it as my personal challenge to try to talk to management about ways to keep people with odd and quirky behavior at the workplace, so they do not have to become homeless. 
I am a public speaker. I want to become known as: ‘Faye Speaks’.    I hope you continue to read my blogs and take this journey with me. I need your help for me reach my goal of giving 20 speeches. I don’t want to go on this journey alone. 
]]> <![CDATA[Faye Speaks]]> Thu, 19 Jan 2012 10:38:10 GMT We tend to confuse acceptance with love, but they are different things. We offer acceptance to another when we acquire ways to cope with odd or quirky traits, and not judge them. We overcome barriers of prejudice, fear and stigma when we accept. Information is knowledge and knowledge leads to acceptance. 

As a culture we talk about accepting blame, or accepting responsibility. However, we tend to talk less about accepting different mentalities of the people around us.
 
My goal as a speaker is to explore ways to accept these peculiar mentalities’ and discover their full potential. Each of us wants to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. We profit at work if we can give that quality to those around us. Productivity comes from working in an environment that does not harbor bullies or gossips. 
 
We hone in on skills at the place, so that we may feel empowered in dealing with unexpected behaviors of others. This creates a healthier work environment and produces results, which will make your company outstanding. 
 
Let’s explore these coping skills and ways of dealing with strange behaviors. Let’s learn how to accept-a-mentality.  
 
]]> <![CDATA[Accept-A-Mentality: Working in the Work Place]]> Wed, 18 Jan 2012 06:30:50 GMT I have come to a conclusion that many have come to before me. That is, the only thing we truly own is the space between our ears. Some people have more things, (toys) but that does not mean they really have them. They are on loan to that person.
I say that the only thing we really own is the space between our ears. It is as our garden. We plant what we plant, and let things take root. If we are messy with our thinking, the space becomes untidy and does not bear really good flowers or fruit for other people to enjoy. If we cherish and nurture hurt- feelings, wounded-pride or petty things, that will also show as we age, by our conduct. What is between our ears is directly attached to our heart. 
I know it sounds simple. But, a well-tended garden really is daily and hourly work. Bringing out what has beauty in old age takes tending this space. The garden needs protecting. Watching what goes into it and what thoughts you keep and what thoughts you let go is an active job. It takes vigilance and persistence. 
My garden once was filled with hate and bitterness. In fact, looking back, I was even aware I was a bitter person. I felt that life had gypped me. Then I realized that life could become what I made it. I wanted to be happy. I chose to be happy. I weeded and tended my garden from scratch. By letting go of old festering wounds and forgiving others and myself. I started loving myself from inside my garden.
I could not have done a better thing for myself. I strongly recommend to all people that I love to take a good look at your garden. Weed it, nurture it, and tend it. If there is a good thing that grows, water it, educate it, open it up and nurture it. Become self-aware. If you find pettiness, ignorance, hate, jealousy, bitterness ... then you must start the work of being aware to take these things out by the root daily. Pluck them and keep them out of your garden. Nurture what is good. And turn things around. 
That space between your ears is the only thing you will have in the end. During the final moments, I hope to look at my garden and sigh at how lovely it all is and what a great journey it has allowed me. I hope that I can share those beautiful flowers and fruits with everyone. And, you with me.     
 
 
 
]]> <![CDATA[Space Between Ears]]> Wed, 11 Jan 2012 07:18:55 GMT Do you have a Dream for 2012? 
When I was 55 I lived to die. I had no friends, no future and no life. I found myself living in a shelter for abused and battered women, and I spent my 55th birthday alone and … scared to death. While in shelter, I met 4 amazing women. None of us spoke the same language and none of us were born on the same continent. Needless to say, this is where I learned how to speak fluent broken English. One night one of the ladies pointed her finger at me and said, “Faye, I know your problem” “Faye, you have no dreams. You want to die. You are smart and have a heart, go out into the world and make us all proud of you!” “Faye, you find yourself a dream and dream it!” 
That was only 4 years ago. What a roller coaster ride this has been since then.
I have a dream now. I have many dreams. My dreams include continuing to open my heart wide and living, loving each person that comes into my life to the fullest that I can. 
In 2012, I want to sell 400 copies of my new book, “Prisoner of God”. I want to give several speeches as a paid speaker. These are a few of the dreams I dream now. So, I write my dreams down, as I started to do at 55. I write them down on paper and place them lovingly into old-time tin yeast can that mama had. I keep my yeast-can close to me. Once I speak my dreams out loud and place them in my yeast-can, they can ‘rise’, grow, and I flourish. Growing is what aging is all about. Once we lose sight of dreams, we lose a lot. I have lived a life without dreams too long. I am done with that. 
Bring on the dreams! What are your dream? Write it out, put it on paper. Speak it out loud. Is it to go sky diving? To learn to belly-dancing? To make a new friend? Write it, dream it. Walk toward your dream. You will be amazed how much power an out loud dream can create! Happy 2012.      
]]> <![CDATA[Dream 2012!]]> Sat, 31 Dec 2011 09:48:47 GMT My Life is changing
Let it change!
Clinging has disastrous effects
 
Stop
Relax
Take a Breath
 
Change to what I’m going to BE!
 
I am the past.
The past is gone
Yet
Past formed me
Life is Changing!
 
 Open Wide
My inside heart splits in two
With growth of change
To something New
Rebirth
Yet
The past has roots
One can never last long with out
New shoots
Seeking light
From old roots
Spring up!
Nurture tender
Small stillness
Of
Hope! 
 
]]> <![CDATA[New Blog from Old Roots]]> Fri, 23 Dec 2011 03:23:48 GMT So, what is odd behavior? That is what we all would like to know. Once long ago, I worked with people who really had odd behavior. One of the people I helped care for refused to leave his basement bedroom where he lived in his parents’ house.  He refused to come out for 8 straight years, so for 8 years, that is where he stayed. Then, one day his mom decided to call for help. All that time, she took food to him and put it by the door, and when she was gone, he would open the door, pick it up and eat. That was his communication for years. After he was institutionalized for a while, and stabilized on medication, ‘we’ (social workers) got him in a community setting and helped him adjust. We had dozens of stories somewhat like him. 
I suppose for me then, odd behavior has a different meaning than it would for someone else.
It doesn’t really matter what our standard is for odd behavior as far as I am concerned. I have a very wide tolerance for what is acceptable before I notice it, or before it bothers me. Some people have a very limited tolerance.
The point I wish to develop as my talks go along is ways to advance our coping skills with what bothers us about each other. Push open our tolerance barriers. We will not be able to change ‘them’, the only person we change is us. There is so much hatred in this world that I KNOW this is a current and relevant topic. 
We need to find ways to co-exist and tolerate our differences and put a stop to gossip, bullying, prejudice and fears of each other’s odd behaviors. 
In a way, this feels like my Christmas message.      
]]> <![CDATA[2. My Christmas wish for coping with odd behavior]]> Thu, 22 Dec 2011 06:45:36 GMT